Hey, Mustard! Would you like to ketchup? (8/30-9/1)

The day had come. Reality arrived saying, “Hello, Kate. Today you begin your new life.” Our day started with getting things done for Edward. Being 1,000 miles over an oil change and since the Volvo dealership in Spokane had no openings, I decided to get it over with at Jiffy Lube -- bad life decision! Needless to say, I did not get an oil change and they certainly did not do anything for me when it came to getting me inspired about going to Pomeroy. “You’re going where?! For what?!” Feeling officially defeated and facing the tormenting reality of bringing my brother to board a plane to a place I wish I could return to, panic struck. “I need to escape” kept racing through my head. “There’s no way I can go back there! It’s so isolated! How will I survive? What if the people are weird?” These thoughts made me feel manic and, frankly, I began thinking I had gone crazy for making a decision such as this. As we approached Spokane International Airport, the waterfall erupted and poured onto the surface of my brothers shoulder shielded by a t-shirt embellished with some witty saying. Yet despite my impending doom in the foreground, my racing thoughts, and blurred vision, I noticed something I nearly forgotten -- my brother. I felt the closeness we seemed to depart from over the past few years and I knew his presence was more than just a living body. He told me how proud he was of me and knew I could get through this because he watched me grow into a strong, independent woman -- capable of overcoming any feat. He also assured that he would be on the next flight back to drive me home if needed. And when I later told him I missed him, he kindly informed me that those feelings would probably fade soon. For those few minutes, I redeveloped the respect, love, and bond with my brother I felt I detached from. Needless to say, if I gain nothing from this AmeriCorps experience, at least I can share it openly with Jay and have these new memories together. Now, the drive to Pomeroy. Well, grueling and dramatic appropriately describe that adventure! I pulled off the highway to fill up my gas tank and stayed there awhile longer debating how I could escape. My mind rationalized a plan, “Okay. I’ll drive there. I won’t unpack my car and say I’ll do it the next day. Then, if I can’t last, I’ll just leave and drive to Seattle, down the west coast, then back home!” This comforted me enough to continue driving to Pomeroy, and with a little help from my girl Fergie and the Black Eyed Peas, I made it. Being honest, and very open about my feelings and emotions, I called Michele (the woman in HR who has done so much for me since she called for the initial interview) along the way to let her know I would be arriving soon and I did not feel good… at all… about going. She comforted me and informed me she would most likely get there later than me, but they expected me at the hospital. Well, I drove around the town a bit and went into Pomeroy Foods (the local grocery store… about the size of the produce aisle at Shaws) and bought a banana and grapefruit juice because I hadn’t ate since the granola bar on our hike in Mount Spokane. I forced about a quarter the banana and gave up, so I went into the hospital, unsure what would lie behind the doors. I went to the front desk and introduced myself. “Oh! You’re Kate! It’s so great to have you here!” said the receptionists. This became a common theme. As I met Jeff, one of my supervisors, and we wandered through the hospital and eventually to the clinic, everyone knew me. I managed to keep my emotions in check and the more I met people, the better I felt, however this did cause my indecisive side to kick in. I met my host family-of-one, Suzanne, and later Michele came. Everyone inquired about my travels west and my story of life on the east coast. Michele took me on a mini tour of town and immediately I felt a connection. I knew I could express myself truly with her and felt comfortable doing so. She brought me to the library and invited me to the book club when she discovered I enjoyed reading. Most importantly, she emphasized if I had any concerns or worries to let her know immediately. This was exactly what I needed to hear. We departed with plans to meet on Tuesday and she would show me around some more and meet others in the hospital. When I returned to the clinic, Suzanne and I left soon after to get groceries for dinner and then headed home. She grew up in Pomeroy and her family farms locally, and is a very kind and hospitable woman. We arrived at her house, a few miles out of town, and she showed me to my room. Nervous as we descended into the basement, relief struck when I saw the large window. I have my own space with a bathroom and living area. Quicker than I anticipated, my things suddenly went from the car to my new room. I went to bed soon after dinner, without unpacking much of anything far from the necessities. I woke in tears. Frantically I ran from one corner of the house to the other, through the yard and almost desperately up the hill to find service on my cell phone. Nothing. I weepingly dialed home on the landline and spoke to my Mom. She urged me to simply come home, I didn’t have to stay. Yet something inside me grounded me and I wouldn’t budge. The reactions from the individuals I met the day prior reminded me why I chose to join AmeriCorps -- to follow my passion of serving others. I knew I merely needed time to adjust and I simply was overwhelmed with the drastic change. Part of me really liked it in Pomeroy, and I had not met one person I questioned their motives or left with an unsettling feeling in my stomach. Later, my Dad jogged my memory to the obvious fact that I am so used to being active and since I’m in a new place with nothing to do, I needed to do something! So, I followed this advice and ventured downtown to get a P.O. Box and there I realized what a small, rural community means. The woman working behind the counter quickly recognized I was the girl the hospital tried finding housing for. Another man, who I soon found out is the husband of one of the NP’s I work with, left and came back in saying, “So you’re Kate? I kind of figured because of your license plate.” I never experienced anything like this before. I left and decided to walk down the Main Street to see what the stores had to offer. Inside Meyer’s Hardware, a coffee shop! I had a delicious coffee-something-or-other, not quite sure what exactly I drank. I decided to see Michele and, again, she introduced me to more people. I kept feeling better and better as the day proceeded and she took me to the Umatilla National Forest, about 15 miles out of town. She invited me to dinner at her house and recited a laundry list of individuals I should meet. I accepted her invitation and figured I would check out “the Valley”, and no, not the latest MTV reality TV show, but the combination of towns, Lewiston and Clarkston. My confidence regaining speed, I hit a high when I saw the green circle with a strangely shaped mermaid in the center and the white letters “Starbucks Coffee” encircling her. “Okay, I can do this.” I thought, and when I entered and discovered their pumpkin spice lattes were back, I confirmed this. I got on my laptop and excitedly connected to the free wi-fi, another additional confidence booster (I’m currently without internet at the house I’m staying at -- hence lack of blogging). I had an excellent dinner at Michele’s, the first real meal I consumed all day. Again, my positive thoughts gradually returned and my smile came back. And for the record, I still have not met one person that greeted me with unwelcoming arms. I tossed and turned all night, excited for my first day at work. I woke without fear and felt more at ease. The day consisted of the typical orientation paperwork and I eventually ended up at the clinic where I began putting together my desk. Yes, I have my own desk with a computer and phone; I even have my own work e-mail! Very official, I know. They even bought a big smiley face balloon and plant, with a “Welcome Kate” note. The day progressed and I realized more that I made the right choice to try out Pomeroy. I feel at home now and attribute the easy transition to Michele, Suzanne, and the others kind hearted individuals in this unique city. I ended up riding Celeste down to the hospital after work for the board meeting. Wow, these roads surely are a great change from the pot hole ridden streets of Massachusetts. Nicely paved, except steeply graded, I embraced the wind as I broke through it. On the ride home, I rode alongside a perfect sky darkening behind the rising hills of golden wheat as I said to myself, “Oh deer, I love it here.” Ironically, I found myself racing deers galloping throughout the fields on the roadside at the same time. A perfect conclusion to a difficult, but reassuring, few days. To clarify, I feel 100% better than at the beginning of this long, drawn out blog entry, and am very excited to begin my work.